32B's Blog

…where I write my words


I had a moment of venting today.  Today, I got up to log into my computer for work when I got a text message from my ex-hubby.  Yes, I know.  Nothing should amaze me anymore and it really doesn’t but sometimes his blatant incompetence makes me wanna kick myself for procreating with him.  If a gift keeps on giving then this mistake keeps on hurting.  Not because I let it but because it affects my bottom line in some way.  Kids are going to him for the summer June 19th til about August 19th.  I usually try to stretch it for 2 months time since schools start so late here and begin so early there.  It’s bad enough I have to rent a car to get them there but he texted me to say the training for his job ends early August so we will have to make arrangements for the kids in Chitown (I hate that term) during that time.  Apparently, the summer day camp for them ends at 6pm everyday and he gets off work at the same time.  Add in commute time via the bus and you can see how that could be a problem.  But there’s a simple solution in my opinion.

I thought he was kidding.  Surely you aren’t trying to send the kids back early because you don’t have anyone to get them before you get off work and you are that afraid of losing your job.  So, he must be exempt from experiencing the trials of single parenting.  Interesting.  My plan was to hear him out, say a “oh that’s messed up” every now and then, add a “sure, let me know when in August” in there as well, and change my mindset once the kids leave.  Why?  Because he will dodge summer altogether if it means jeopardizing his job instead of asking his many friends to babysit for 2 hours max everyday.  As many friends we know mutually who do not have jobs right now, any little help would be great imo.  But, nope.  When his life resumes and the kids interfere it’s time to ship them bad boys back to their mama.  I changed the subject asking about the kids’ health insurance as well as child support – that bi weekly check I have not seen in months.  Yes, that one.  He said he hasn’t gotten paid yet but it’s supposed to be semi-monthly (not sure what that means) so he should be expecting something in June.  I smelled a liar so I checked for myself.

I Google’d his employer’s HR dept and found a website with several dept numbers.  I called the number at the top which said something like HR Access.  When I dialed the number, the automated voice asked for a SS#.  I still remember his SS# from our time being married.  I dialed it in the keypad of my phone.  Next, the automated voice asked for his pin which the voice told me will be his 2 digit month, day, and year (apparently he has not set-up this account yet).  Sure.  I entered his birthday as well and the system prompted me to change the pin.  I kept it as his birthday.  Next, I was given his last pay amount and pay date (May 28th) and his annual salary as well.  There was other information like benefits and perks but I didn’t care about those.  I pressed whatever number to speak with a representative and asked for the direct number to the payroll withholding dept for child support.  She gave it to me and all was well.  I kinda felt bad about accessing his information but he lied.  Do not cheat me out of what is mine legally esp when I care for our kids using my money alone.  It’s cool.  Men can easily pick up and move on.  Women can’t because they have the burden of rasing kids from failed marriages.  I’ma get my money.  Trust me.

I told my close friends about it.  Not a single one faulted me saying I am quite resourceful and I better watch out for myself since he has a history of not giving 0.2 shyts about me and how I will make it during the school year.  I told Mr. D about it.  He calls me Ms. CIA now.  I guess he has a reason.  For Mother’s Day weekend, he was going through a rough financial time.  His car broke down which cost almost $400, his computer caught a virus, his work was slow coming in, and all bills and expenses had his money fastly leaving his pockets.  Of course I didn’t expect anything because we have no kids together.  I bought my mom her normal expensive fruit basket from Edible Arrangements.  The kids made me little cute things at school.  My ex texted me or something like that.  Mr. D bought me a card which was surprising because, like I said, he didn’t have a reason to.  I asked what he’d gotten his own mom.  An e-card.  What?  An e-card?!  They still make those?? I felt bad.  Don’t know why but I did.  In conversation the evening before Mother’s Day, I asked his mom’s name and made it seem like I was totally interested in his family and where he grew up.  Actually, I was using a website from my genealogy project to find his mom’s current address to which I sent her flowers for him.  Mr. D is the only one who knows (other than those who read this blog) it was me but I couldn’t let him not get her something. 

So, after finding his mom’s current address, the name of her husband, and her phone number online – adding this latest situation kinda solidifies my Ms. CIA nickname.  I never do anything for bad though.  Only good.  He said he almost cried when he found out because most women want to see how much they can get instead of what they can give.  Anywho, I shall close with this important note: identity theft is real!  Finding SS# of people is pretty hard but not impossible if you can hack into a system.  Most companies allow access via a SS# and a birthday which is not good (family, close friends, and/or ex-spouses can access this info).  Always ask to add a personal pin to your file for add security (I surely did).  And that’s it.  Here’s to a fun summer and low stress levels.


June 3, 2010 Posted by | Life | , , , , , | Leave a comment