32B's Blog

…where I write my words

Stupid suffering from Fat

I will not say I am the skinniest of my circle of friends and associates but I will say I may be the most athletic which can still be measured in various ways since I said “athletic” but not “physically fit”.  Anywho, a friend of mine called yesterday and we talked about different topics but the main thing was when she asked me about my diet.  I do not diet so I was confused on how to answer that question.  Then she changed it and asked what I eat on a daily basis.  I told her that I eat when I get hungry (esp while at work) and I usually bring meat only as my lunch.  I sit at a desk all day and I have seen my share of fat office workers so I make sure I do not snack for 8 hours 5 days a week.  I eat breakfast (I bring it or order it) and I eat lunch (bring it or order it) with an occasional snack here and there but certainly not everyday and I usually drink several glasses of tea which helps me stay hydrated since water and I don’t really get along too much.  Then she asked if I wanted to know what she ate today.  Not really but I guess you wanted to tell me anyways.  She had 2 grilled chicken thighs, 2 cups of rice, and 0.5 cup of veggies.  I thought to myself, “did she really measure out the side dishes?” and then I thought, “congratulations I guess”.  Then she asked if I wanted to know what she has for breakfast on most days.  Again, I didn’t but I played along.  She has oatmeal with flaxseed.  I am not completely sure what the hell flaxseed is but I have heard about it….just never eaten it.

She asked what I usually eat for breakfast.  I told her whatever I bring which may be a granola bar, fruit, trail mix, a donut, breakfast sandwich from the cafe (I sometimes eat several from this list during a typical morning)….basically, anything to feed my hungry stomach.  She couldn’t believe it.  I told her I eat what I want but in moderation and try to stay away from carbs unless I have a big run coming up but even then carbs and I don’t do too well only because they bulk me up (fat on my midsection) than fill me out.  Long story short, we talked about diet and how amazing it is that I remain so skinny although I eat lots of things I want to and a little of things I shouldn’t.  Then my friend went on to talk about how she just ran 1.5 miles and didn’t sweat and how she ran about the same distance with her husband and didn’t sweat either.  I waited for the point she was trying to make but it never came.  What does sweat have to do with weight loss?!  Does sweat not have more to do with replenishing lost fluids & sodium?  I know fat people tend to sweat more but I think it’s because of mass rather than progress made.   I reminded her how my long runs are usually 10 miles.  She said she runs that in a week so it’s comparable.  Silly rabbit.  I explained the benefits of 1 long run compared to several shorter runs.  She listened but I don’t think she heard me.  She then went on to talk about new diets changes, new workouts, gym workouts, exercise DVDs, and how she lost 12 lbs and she knows because she weigh herself everyday.  Everyday!

People are stupid by nature but I am convinced fat people are additionally stupid by choice.  How many times must you read in a magazine, a book, watch on TV, or hear on the radio all the simple ways to lose weight but go out there and spend a ridiculous amount of money on something that only reaps benefits if you are disciplined enough to move your ass which is the reason you are still fat….because you will only move your ass so much as to not sweat out your hair, stink, feel physical pain, or breathe too hard.  The simple rule is to burn more than you consume.  People take that simple rule, overcomplicate it, overthink it, and overeat as a reward written into a program that you have yet to progress in.  College educated fat people at that who can compute the most complex math equation and build a spectaular machine for NASA but can’t understand the simple eat/burn rule.  It has to be more complicated than that.  It just has to!  Anyone who asks me know I will suggest a walk/jog program before anything else not because I think running is the cure for all things (well, kind of) but because that is all I know I can’t advise you or speak on something I’m clueless about (although people do so all the time).  She has honestly focused a lot of time on her diet which is commendable.  For her, and most people I know personally, the hard part isn’t watching what you put in your mouth….it’s getting moving.  She told me about videos she watched from YouTube, things she saw someone else make on YouTube that she copied at home and swears by, she buys things that worked for someone else, she pays this ridiculously expensive personal trainer to watch her work out when she can take a gym rat friend for free, and she weighs herself everyday placing more emphasis on the digital numbers than on her complete lifestyle change which is a hint and a half that she will yo-yo like Oprah complete with a wagon full of fat.

I have said it before and I will say it again, some fat people do not want to lose weight….they want to find a get-skinny-quick solution when there is not one other than surgery.  People assume that because I weigh 127 lbs I am skinny & healthy so they should emulate me.  Please do not!  I have been running since the 6th grade so, if muscle memory is real, I have a good decade over most of you.  Running is all I know to do so running takes well to my body.  I might put down the donuts from time to time but I increase my mileage and lift weights at the same time.  I am not genetically skinny.  My sisters, mom, aunts, and cousins are thick with curvy bodies.  I am one of maybe 3 or 4 women in my family who are skinny and I think the other 3 are teenagers pre-pregnancy.  Exercise is free when done outside.  Dieting shouldn’t be complicated although a lot of label reading and ingredients are way over my head.  The only time I struggled with my weight was after I had baby #1.  I went on a birth control shot, gained weight, and couldn’t lose it no matter how many miles I ran.  That was extremely odd for me so I knew something wasn’t right.  Haven’t been on birth control since then.  It is so easy to prey on the fat because, to them, a smaller size is what they live for.  My friend wants the scale to read a certain number so she can be a “brickhouse” like the song says.  She does not care about how her clothes fit only that a certain number is written on the tag but until she makes a lifestyle change and incorporate all of these into her routine she will forever and always be a gingerbread house.  But, when I tell her this, she says “it’s easy for you to say….you’re skinny!”  Yep, stupid by choice.


September 8, 2010 Posted by | Life | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Worn Out from Running

Not much to write about except running.  I ran once last week and I did 6 minutes making that my minimum instead of my usual 3 miles.  Can’t do 3 miles all the time and expect a miracle to happen come September for the half marathon.  Last week I felt tired as hell so I was really excited when I came to a stop light which forced me to catch my breath.  I run along the city streets….not in a park.  I should probably run in a park like I did all 4 years of high school but there is no decent park near my apartment as there was up north near my high school.  This week, I ran Tuesday and felt like my legs were screaming.  I kept pace not sure if I was slower or faster than last week since I kept hitting the “lap” button by accident when I meant to hit “stop”.  “Lap” starts the time over and only shows that new time on the screen while continuing to keep track of the entire run but you can only see this cumulative time when you actually press “stop”.  It’s was irritating to say the least because my mind said “stop” but my finger kept pressing the wrong freaking button.  I’m sure non-runners are reading this like, “um, ok…is it that serious?!”  It is.  Anywho, I finished my 6 miles slower than last week so I was kinda disappointed.

Today, I was almost 2 minutes faster and only because I felt a second wind on the way back to my apartment.  My legs didn’t scream as much as Tuesday but they did feel slightly heavy from time to time.  My upper abs were burning toward the end which sucks big time when you have like 2 miles left to run and you still have to breathe knowing that inhaling will hurt a tad but and this is the time to execute that whole mind-over-matter crap.  I felt stronger although my body still hurt getting used to the distance again as well as the pace.  I need to get to 45 minutes for my 6 mile runs and, when the kids leave for summer break, I can start some workouts elsewhere instead of needing to stay close to home just in case.  I love my new Nike Triax Fury watch….it’s black & gold and of a better construction than my older Nike watch which eventually fell apart at the seams of the wristband.  I need to buy more non-cotton shorts because running in the warmer months results in trifflin sweat spots on your butt, lower back, and crotch area….not cute!  For guys maybe.  For girls….no!  No matter how fresh you may still be you automatically look stank.  The non-cotton shorts I have (2) happen to be Nike as well and I can still fit them from maybe 8 years ago.  Not a perfect fit but I can still wear them.  The only problem is that they are spandex (the breathable kind of course) which kinda draws attention but it’s cool.

Mr. D said I need new running shoes cause mine look worn.  Running shoes to an active runner is like a Bible to a Christian….worn is a positive thing lol of course until you start to get injuries because you’ve worn out the soles of your shoes.  I already know which kind I prefer, which kind keeps me shin-split free, and which brand work best for me so it’s just a matter of finding a good deal because running shoes cost as much as Jordans sometimes.  I saw some pairs for $130 which is ridiculous because they come with an expiration date depending on how many miles you log….when are Jordans ever worn out unless you play basketball competitively?  I am supposed to run this Saturday but I’m not sure if I will esp if the weather calls for snow (damn Chicago weather).  Other than that, I’ll be back next week logging miles throughout March and maybe increasing my mileage to 8.5 miles during April.  Once I start running my 10+ miles…..then I’ll have to re-design my running course and get used to taking an extended scenic route around my neighborhood.  As long as I finish the Chicago Half Marathon, I get a medal 🙂 I’ll be happy to be there but even happier if I finish under 2 hours.

March 18, 2010 Posted by | Life | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Body Love Affair

mojoMy body has been good to me and I have tried to be good to it.  Before sports, I never paid any attention to my body other than cleaning it, feeding it, and using it for walking around or running as all kids do.  My first sport was running little 40 yd dashes in the 5th grade.  I loved it because the more I ran the stronger I became and the more races I won.  As my body became stronger I paid more attention to how and in what ways it was stronger.  I’d look in the mirror and see definition, lines, toned muscle in places I hadn’t before.  I felt different when I walked and ran around for fun.  I felt stronger because I could do more and for longer periods of time.  My next sport I tried was basketball because it involved running…all I had to do was shoot a basketball every now and then.  With basketball, I suck and quickly realized I should stick to playing for fun and not competitively AND I’d get seriously pissed when some chick elbowed me in my breast or tried to trip me up.  Forget a foul.  I’d dang near get kicked out the game tryna go upside her head. Of course running can be nasty with the pushing, elbowing, stepping on people with your spikes but in the end you still gotta outrun the others….simple as that.

Short stature was a flaw for basketball and for volleyball which I tried next but, in both sports, I realized just how long my legs are.  My torso is short as it should be but my legs are longer than they should be so I’d always have to move back a little further than everyone else to do a two stride layup or I’d end up under the basket with a missed shot.  The only thing I did well was beat everyone else to the other end of the court and I’d run up and down the floor without needing a break.  I eventually returned to running.  That’s my girl Flo Jo in the profile pic.  She was a sprinter. I am a distance runner but I love her running form and how she remained feminine and never really bulked up on muscle. Running track and field involves a team effort which was asking a lot of me because I hate to depend on others for my own success but I got over it….from time to time.  Distance running was my strong area because I was accountable for me and I could run my own race.  It wasn’t until Cross Country that I found out what my body could do, how far I could push it, how fast it could go, how long it could go, and the first time I actually had a six pack.  Of course I was never fat so that meant I usually had muscles but it was the feeling I felt.

On our long runs, we’d run from our high school down Addison street pass Wrigley Field down to the lake.  We’d stop, stretch, do some little ply’s, and then we’d run back.  It was the best long run ever because the best runners ran at the front, kept watch on the others behind us, made sure everyone stayed together esp with traffic lights, and running with others of faster paces strengthens and pushes you more.  By the time I became the strongest one, I ran with Time.  Sometimes I beat Time meaning I’d be further ahead by a certain time than I was last week which meant my body was running stronger and covering more ground quicker.  Other times Time beat my butt because I was behind pace and feeling like I hadn’t ran in weeks instead of just days.  Some times my body was screaming because my muscles were still sore, feeling heavy, or just a little under the weather.  Either way, running made me fall in love with my body and the love affair has continue since then.

Since that time, I have had two kids via c-section and have tried to return not to my high school body but to my high school running euphoric days.  I had my first brush with that this morning and it felt great!  I did a long run which, right now, is running for an hour.  The last time I ran for an hour was maybe a week or so ago but at every red light I came to I’d run in place or just stop to stretch something while the clock kept ticking.  This morning, I stopped the watch each time my body stopped.  I didn’t wanna cheat my body out of the full hour run and I didn’t wanna say I ran for 60 minutes when I was only in motion for about 45 minutes.  I can be hard on myself but I do listen to her.  When she is hurting I slow down, I stretch a screaming muscle, I fuel my body later, I slowly bring my heart rate back down, I try to keep my limbs flexible, and I try to keep my heart healthy and lung strong by reaching an anaerobic state more often than not.  I had reached my 60 min mark already but had about 3 city blocks left to get to my front door so I picked up the pace, lowered my arms, increased the rate at which I pumped my arms which connects to my turnover, my posture felt excellent, and I was breezing through those 3 blocks like it was nothing.  I remember when I last felt like that.  It was about 10 years ago so I smiled to myself and high five’d my body thinking, “good job chica!” 

I’m not a health freak, I absolutely hate veggies, will drink V8 splash before I put anything green in my mouth, I love fruit but know I need to keep my sugar in check because diabetes is prominent in my family, I don’t do organic anything because it’s expensive, I take a multi-vitamin now but didn’t a month ago, I don’t track my calories intake, calories burned, count points, or weigh myself often.  I have actually held steady at 130 lbs which is 15 more than I was early this year and I don’t stress over my pooch anymore because the more I train my body, keep my body healthy, and use my body for running and other activities the flatter my stomach gets.  Of course I’d probably never have my pre-babies belly again but my body feels good & looks good so that’s enough for me.  I don’t know why I felt this strong need to write about how I love my body in a non-sexual way but so many people take theirs for granted.  To see how it moves, how strong it can be, the things it does for me, how it endures what I put it through, even going stronger and longer when I don’t think it’s ready amazes me.  My body is a priceless piece of artwork and I simply adore it.

July 21, 2009 Posted by | Life | , , , | 1 Comment

Summer Regimen

LAILA1INAbout 2 years ago I started this summer workout plan where I would choose an activity I always wanted to do and….just do it!  The whole point is to venture out and try new things since all I have ever done to stay in shape was run.  Run run run.  My body reacts well to it but I get tired of running sometimes so I stop and doing do nothing in the meantime isn’t good.  Well, I have been slacking on that summer plan.  The last time I actually did it was in 2006 and 2007.  In 2006 I took pole & strip tease class….definitely something I would recommend!  In 2007 I took just the second part of pole classes since I loved it better than the strip class.  So, this summer since my kids are spending about 2 months with daddy and I have some free funds and time, I have signed up for boxing classes. 

Boxing is something I have always heard good things about but I didn’t want some frilly girlie class where you punch wimpy little bags, do some cutesy little moves, and just go through the motions of fighting which is barely different than the windmill some chicks do when they fight.  The class I found is at Jabb Boxing and this is, allegedly, where the pros train so I know the classes will be difficult.  I gotta have something that kicks my butt and sends me home sore, bruised, and dang near crying but I should have killer arms and abs by the time it’s over! LOL!  My mama told me I’m losing the definition in my arms so, since then, I’ve been doing arms/upper body exercises.  I have a pair of I think 5 lb dumb bells in my room.  I do a set of arm curls about 20 times followed by a set of 20 overhead shoulder presses.  I do those rotations about three times at which point my muscles are sore.  After that I do a set of 20 arms lifts out in front of my torso followed by a set of 20 overhead tricep curls.  I do these for a rotation of three too.  And I’m done for the day.  Yeah I said it….the day.  My arms don’t require much to get tone which I have to careful of because I can get ripped like a guy…..seriously! 

So, I am excited about the boxing classes.  It is supposed to be a lot of metrics, drills, medicine balls, punching drills & techniques, foot quickness & moves, etc.  Cardio will trim my waist line a little bit more, hopefully work a miracle on my post-babies stomach, and get me fit for my Florida trip in July.  Did I mention I bought a monokini swimsuit from Vickie S?  Yea….grown and sexy so no pain no gain.

June 5, 2009 Posted by | Me | , , , | Leave a comment

Running Superwoman

superwomanI was complaining to another single mom about always feeling tired, robotic, and never having time to do what we want to do.  Then I tried to figure out what I like to do.  What I used to like to do before the kids and work consmed every facet of my life.  I write and I like it because it is a form of expression … an art form that frees me.  I love to read too.  All different types of books and topics … nose in book … that is me!  But I also miss running. 

I don’t run because I need to but because I need to.  Running allows me to think, feel the wind, run with the wind, feel the wind in my hair, see the sights, come to some decision about an issue, sort through my choatic mind, flush out toxins, strengthen my heart, increase the efficiency of my lungs, regain my runner legs, runner tenacity, regain my own competitive spirit.  Honestly, my body embraces running so much that I either have to keep my running to a minimum or eat a lot of food thereafter so I don’t lose too much weight!  Yeah, it sucks to be me. 

So, in an effort to get back to doing something for me instead of for the kids, and for my manager, and for someone else I took the first steps to resume running.  I bought some cute Nike shox running shoes … they are black with pink, green, and blue colors … cute!  I bought an iced blue colored ipod to run with and to.  I am trying to find some running tights … I have one pair but I need more … I cannot stand running in jogging pants because I feel weighed down so much.  Now, I need to put music on my ipod but, with the various music file places online, I don’t wanna get a virus on my computer.

I am excited.  No more feeling bad because I am doing something for me.  No more regrets because mommy need a break.  No more feelings of denial that I am superwoman … well, I am still superwoman but this cape gets heavy sometimes.   Sexy superwoman …with my laced up Nikes … and short sexy skirt … here to save my sanity!!!  How corny as hell…

January 25, 2009 Posted by | sex | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment