32B's Blog

…where I write my words

Unscripted Weekly Events

Haven’t had much to write about.  Blogging has gotten boring – too much along the lines of self promotion that I have turned myself off from myself.  Doesn’t make any sense whatsoever since I do anything but promote but I guess I see other bloggers over-inflate the value of their own words it makes me wanna throw up on my own blog.  Trying to hold on to the purity of the reason behind this here place.  My sister had a baby – another boy.  6 lbs 7 ozs…a tiny little thing.  I couldn’t seem to put him down.  I think I want another one.  I don’t want the child-birth/cesarean part but I want another baby.  My sisters say I only like babies till they get to about 5 yrs old.  I think they are correct.  Maybe.  Ran my 10 miles yesterday.  1 hr and 30 minutes plus an extra 0.5 miles which added 4-5 minutes to my time so I am comfortably running 9:00/miles which makes me think I need to give my body additional time (months) to reach a 8:00/mile pace.  It’s cool.  Disappointment is only a slight setback – losing my physical means to run would be more detrimental.  My race is this Saturday at 7:30a (I think).  I just hope it’s not hot.  Warm is fine but hot is something my mind cannot take as well.  I have run in mid 80 degree weather but even that was difficult because it was a long run day.  A 3 mile run in high 80 degree weather is a different story completely.  A friend who went to high school a block from me asked why I still run.  I was silent for a while because my answer is corny and would make no sense to a non-runner.  It is all I know how to do well.  I do other things good but this is what I do well and happen to enjoy immensely.  And, it helps that I loathe fat, that mom shape, gut, and just fighting a slower metabolism as I age.  Some people accept those things as a part of life – I do not accept anything willingly.  Never have.

Went out last night with Mr. D.  Actually, I went running yesterday morning with my cell in my bra and sweated the poor thing to its death.  I showered, used my hair dryer to dry my cell, tried to charge the battery later but no luck although I think the presence of water probably did not make plugging it up to the charger a smart move.  Mr. D picked me up and took me to Sprint.  New phone should be here tomorrow for $50 – insurance is good for something.  Without a phone while holding onto my sanity, I chilled at the shop with Mr. D and called my sons & sisters to let them know to call Mr. D’s phone if they needed me.  About 10p we went to see Inception (great movie).  Afterwards, we went walking along Lake Shore Drive and talked & stuff.  Beautiful night out, really warm, lots of people out, water was cold as hell, I screamed a couple of times cause I thought Mr. D was about to throw me in, we played in the sand with our toes, he told some of his many stories from The Life of Mr. D, I listened intently (at times) while he asked if he was boring me, I lied (God forgive me) and said no, I told one of my stories (about Ques from a party resulting in stitiches in my foot – his uncle is a Que), and I wondered how we can talk for hours during the week, when we are together, and then at night and never seem to run out of things to say.  It’s amazing.  I made it home about 5am – the sun seriously beat me home.  Of all the bad things, arguments, tests of patience/resolve/love for another person – I still like being around him. 

Went to a reggae club with my sisters and my sister’s friend.  You know how guys parking lot pimp?  Well, there was no parking lot so they were corner pimping which irritated me because McD’s a block away was calling my name & I so badly wanted a double cheeseburger.  Standing there waiting for my sisters to stop talking to these random ugly guys, I saw a white chick nearby who was getting felt up by a random black guy and she was surrounded by 2 other black guys.  This guy who felt her up suddenly dived in for a kiss on her lips.  She turned at the last minute so his lips landed on her cheek but I was pissed because he not only tried to kiss her in the mouth but he put up both hands around her head to make sure she didn’t escape.  I told her friend, who was standing nearby, that they should go home.  She said, “why? because we are having fun?”  This white chick actually thought I was hatin’ on her and her friend as if I wanted Ugly I, II, or III.  I said, “no, because she’s drunk”.  Then the drunk friend who was getting her booty rubbed down said, “oh, I’m not drunk.  I have drunk way more plenty of times.”  Oh, my bad…so you actually like ugly guys touching and kissing you.  My apologies.  Finally, my sisters were ready to go so we start walking to our cars when these 2 guys start walking with us.  I turn and say “don’t follow us” and they said “we are just walking you to your car” and I said “it’s cool, we don’t need your help” and we kept walking.  These idiots ignored what I said so I waited till one was close enough to me, I turned quickly, and punched him square in the chest.  Man, that felt good!  He stopped dead in his tracks too.  My sister gasped real loud like I’d just shot him or something.  Then I yelled, go back to the club and stop following us or I will call the police.  They both turned around.  I felt like a b*tch but I dnt like guys who try to pull the wool over women.  I wish I had my weapon on me but I left it in my other purse knowing they prb wouldn’t let me in the club with it.  I’m too small to have such a huge temper.

But, while at the club, guys kept asking me where I’m from.  I’d point my finger down at the ground to indicate “here”.  Chicago.  They looked at me like I was crazy and said, “no, which country?”  I shrugged and said “I honestly do not know”.  They had a puzzled look.  Awww, isn’t that cute!  The fortunate know where their ancestors are from but folks like me can only assume our ancestors are actually from Africa – knowing the exact country is such a blessing in itself.  I then said, “you remember that whole slavery thing? Yeah, I am not sure what country they took my people from.”  Then the message was clear.  When did these club folks get here?  Last week?  Do they not know America’s history?  Hell, most Americans don’t know America’s history so that’s an unfair question.  Went to the Caribbean fest a few weeks ago which I mentioned but I didn’t mention seeing Louis Farrakhan there.  He had an entourage of 5 guys who handed us pamphlets.  One made an effort to stop, stand really close, and speak to me.  It was probably the big silver cross I was wearing around my neck.  He had this whole story about something I can’t remember but then I said, ok, so who killed Malcolm X?” and I waited for his answer looking him in the eyes.  He said “the government” and how the government wants us to think it was something else and how the government was trying to disband our people.  The guy selling oils told me I asked the right question.  The government?  The government cannot divide a united front and I do not care who the front is.  Africans selling their own into slavery but we often want to blame the white man.  Blacks selling out Malcolm X to the government cause they didn’t like him anymore or wasn’t following their rules.  The government likely had the intentions to buy I am sure or else they wouldn’t have been at the shores but capturing the merchandise for them and bring it to the shores is just corrupt.  The government?  Such an insult to my intelligence and it has nothing to do with religion.

This week – work, run, sleep, eat, pray, & have fun!  I am reading my Economic book finally understanding GNP/inflation/and taxes effect on the overall government in actual historical evidence rather than theory as taught in college.  Thinking about going to school for Accounting (seriously just a thought) but I did sign up for more information about Jackson Hewitt tax courses.  Taxes – the rich folks way to sh*t on the government financially.  I should know if my company sell is finalized this Friday.  I sure hope they offer tuition reimbursement.  I think am I refining my next stage in life as far as my career.  Mr. D is closing on a house in the next couple of weeks.  A 6 bedroom house which he will share with his older brothers.  He said they have discussed that if any of them get married that the wives & kids can all live under the same roof a la The Color Purple.  I was partly joking when I asked, “what about me?” but he did say “we have 3 other bedrooms”.  Interesting.  Running Tuesday & then an easy run Thursday morning – race Saturday 🙂


July 18, 2010 Posted by | Life | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment


My new read this month is called Off The Books: The Underground Economy of the Urban Poor written by a graduate student concerning the conditions of one south side neighborhood in Chicago.  I have only finished the first chapter, but since the book is about 400 pages, I am nowhere near finished.  However, I thought about this book when I wondered where I stand as far as immigration.  Wednesday, co-workers discussed Arizona’s new law focused primarily on racial profiling.  Although we agree that racial profiling is not the right way to go about it, we all agreed that something has to be done.  A co-worker outlined several stories of Mexicans who desperately needed to come to America to escape a horrible life in Mexico, take care of family, or a whole list of reasons which are likely true.  Our company CEO said the number of illegal immigrants is having a negative effect on our infrastructure.  Considering the sad personal stories and assuming that we all want what’s best for our families as well as knowing that hustling by any means necessary does not always involve legal means, I cannot speak for Arizona or on how Arizona is handling their situation only because I do not live there so I have no clear clue on what the state is going through.  But, I do agree that Mexican immigration has gotten out of hand.

Everyone is trying to avoid taxes, taking jobs that pay under the table, making money by illicit means, and bartering their way to get what they want and/or need.  Off The Books defines hustling as the indefatigable and creative attempts by the down-and-out to find work, make a buck, and make ends meet.  Another term with a similar meaning would be “grind”.  So, does hustling ever excuse the illegal ways immigrants enter the country from Mexico?  I am focusing on Mexico because there is clear disgust with Mexicans because a) they come to America in droves illegally b) they intentional have anchor babies to secure the stay of parents here c) they willingly take jobs offering low pay and poor conditions ousting out other qualified employees who demand higher pay and possible belong to unions & d) they make no attempt to learn the English language much less apply for a Social Security card yet occupy nearly every line for donations and/or government assistance more so than tax-paying although still poverty-stricken American citizens.  Of course, this does not apply to all Mexican-Americans who are legal American citizens but it does apply to a good portion of them. 

If I was able to change some laws and put certain things in practice, I would throw away the anchor baby law because it does more harm than good.  Any Mexican baby born on American soil is an American citizen but their parents are not granted permission to stay.  The parents will be deported and they must take their babies with them with the babies only having the option to return at a certain age.  Not the child’s fault they were born under these conditions but not America’s responsibilities to be forced to honor something done devilishly by non-citizens.  We can barely control our own and their illegal ways around the system to support those who aren’t apart of this country.  One note made in Off The Books was that gangs continue to remain an issue because they are supported by the community, churches, and businesses in the community although the residents dislike the drugs and violence they bring.  Immigration is still an issue because US businesses and corporations employ illegal immigrants, pay them under the table, and the system allows this to system since any and everyone can purchase a SS card off the streets.  One co-worker told a story of when he worked for a construction company during various administration duties.  He said they would submit the SS# of employees and it would take months, if not, years to hear back that the SS# is invalid but the employee has been working since day 1.  They call the employee in they demand legal documentation which the employee returns with another SS card.  How can you validate a SS#?  This is the only piece of identify that stands on its own with no other adequate proof to substantiate it unlike proof of address, name, DOB, age, etc. 

I am not against immigrants.  America was built by the hands of  immigrants (and slaves).  America is the result of theft by immigrants.  America would not exist without its long history of immigration.  All I want is the legal means of everyone becoming American citizens.  I heard that the application for American citizenship is a long drawn out process so it was suggested that the USA lax on those requirements.  I wouldn’t agree that the USA should lax but I would agree that the USA should either speed things up or close off the lists like they do public housing here in Chicago every couple of years.  If the demand ridiculously exceeds the supply then there is nothing you can possibly do.  No one wants to pick a side and make a clear-cut solution.  On a news program last night, the guy said Republicans want the cheap labor while Democrats want the votes – both sides stand to benefit from illegal immigrants so all the talk and emotional disapproval about Arizona’s law(s) are fake.  If those in power really cared, they’d make the necessary changes instead of worrying about pissing off a certain group of people.

May 14, 2010 Posted by | Life | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Home Sweet Home

woman-and-flagAfter the election…after the results were known….after the announcement was made I still could not believe it.  After watching The View the next day I heard Whoopi Goldberg say something profound that summed up what I felt.  She said, “I can finally put my bags down!”  That statement was so unexpected but it touch me so much because, at every turn in life since African Americans have been here, we have not felt truly welcomed.  We have been defending our rights, fighting for inclusive rights , while reaching for that famous ‘American Dream’. 

Now, with President Obama I now feel as Whoopi does….like I can unpack my bags because America has done what so few thought they would do…..allow an African American to preside over these United States of America.  I typed ‘allowed’ and almost typed ‘accept’ as if to infer that the citizens of this country had the power to prevent this moment in history.  That is where hatred lies…this idea that you do have the power when you do not but no one likes to stay where they are not welcomed.  Michelle Obama got much heat for saying she is now proud of her country…..I agree with her….I am NOW proud of my country.

Don’t blame us for our feelings.  Put on my shoes and walk around in them to learn my experiences and why I feel as I do.  I have a right to my own opinion…a right to feel as I do….a right to say what I want…and a right to make that known to all.  We all have bags packed up…..some of us just forced our way in so I can see how it is difficult to understand.  I have unpacked my bags and I am proud of my country.  Now I can sing the Star Spangled Banner and recite the Pledge of Allegiance with pride and at will.  As a little girl I refused to do either one.  Now, I can honestly say I will allow my kids to enlist in this country’s military.  Before, I would prefer they go to jail instead.

Oh what a difference change makes….

January 21, 2009 Posted by | Life | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment