32B's Blog

…where I write my words

Let Him Tell It

**For Ms. Notebook (lol) who I think loves this story more than I…

Let me tell it, he has been with me for 6 months.  Let him tell it, I have been with him for 11 years.  The year was 2000. I was a nineteen year old college student who was at the end of her sophomore year.  Upstairs in my dorm room, I was putting the finishing touches on my hair and making sure my outfit was not wrinkled.  All white was the required attire.  White slacks.  White jacket.  White heels.  White pantyhose.  Pretty in white.  Rituals in a couple of hours.  I’d made it!  I’d crossed the burning sands into Zeta Land!!  It was officially official.  My phone rings, she’ll be here in about 10 minutes, meet them downstairs, bye.  I grab my keys, purse, and take the elevator down to the lobby to wait.  As I open the doors to walk into the lobby I see him.  He sees me.  Familiarity.  I smile.  He smiles.  We say hi and chit-chat.  Let me tell it, it was just an encounter.  Let him tell it, it was the beginning to a lovely story.  Our chit-chat was interrupted by her, then a blow of a horn, I suddenly remembered my plans, and we parted with a couple of good-byes.  Several encounters later but they never meant much to me.  I was in a relationship and so was he.  She stayed in my dorm on the same side a couple of floors below me.  He stayed on the other end of campus near the track which was fitting since he was Big Ten Champion in the high jump for 4 years straight.  Let me tell it, he was aight.  Let him tell it, he was a 6′ god.  Fast forward 11 years, I sit as he tells “our” story.  Most parts I vaguely remember while others I laughed at in disbelief that I had said or even done some of those things.  Back in those college years, he was not happy.  Neither was I.  We both stayed in our respective relationships and allowed them to play out.  However, during that time, I ran into him once in a while.  We had no classes together and no mutual friends other than the track girls I’d met during my 2 failed attempts to make the team.  We didn’t even run in the same circles.  But, without fail, we ran into each other every time I came back for Homecoming.  The last time was about a couple of years ago.  He was there with his former roommate/best friend.  I was with my sorors.  Let me tell it, we accidently bumped into each other in the crowd.  Let him tell it, it was divine intervention that allowed him to walk in the exact direction in which I was walking towards him.  We chit chatted.  Asked how life was going.  Laughed.  And realized he was leaving that next morning while I was leaving the following night.  We exchanged numbers.  Said our good-byes, again.

The text messages lasted for 2-3 months but life again took us on our own separate journeys until a few months ago.  Randomly, he called me out of the blue but I don’t answer numbers I don’t recognize so he left me a message.  I listened to it replaying it several times and saying the name he left out loud over and over again waiting for it to jog some memory.  Finally, the light bulb went off!  Oh, wow…it’s been like forever since we’ve talked.  My friend from around the way.  Can’t believe he still has my phone number although I have had the same number for the last 8 years almost.  I call him back.  I give a cheery hi sincerely happy to hear from him.

“How are you doing?  What’s been going on?  I can’t believe you still have my number after all this time!”

“Hey, I’ve been good, can’t complain but I actually didn’t have your number.  I had to find my 2 old cell phones, charge them up, and then search in my contacts for your number”.

(Thinking) “Who does that?!”  (Actually said out loud) “You must do that often (lol).”

“No, I only did it to get your number.”


“So, what do you want?  You called me for a reason, I assume.”

“Yes, I did.  My kids are on Spring Break soon so I wanna come see you.  I know it’s been awhile since you’ve seen me and we only texted back and forth at best but I would love to see you if you are free.”

“Your kids?”

“I’m a teacher.  I don’t have any kids of my own but I’ll be on vacation for a week so I was wondering if I could drive up to see you.”

“Um, and then what?”

“Well, I’d like to take you out on a date if that’s ok with you.  I know this is out of the blue but I thought about you and realized we never went out on a date so it’s like perfect timing.”

“Actually, it’s not.  I actually have kids and they aren’t on Spring Break for another few weeks.”

“Oh ok, well if I can just see you for a few hours even that will be great.”

(Thinking) “For who?”  (Actually said out loud) “Oh, well I have to see”.

The minutes were spent recapping what we’d been doing since college.  He even reminded me of encounters we’d had that I’d completely forgot about.  During those earlier years, he had expressed his interest in me while with his girlfriend.  Since my boyfriend had recently cheated I instantly dropped him into the box of “Dogs”.  Men can’t be faithful and they are pathetic!  He says I emailed him asking if we could meet.  We met at an underground library on campus one evening.  Let me tell it, it was a way to grill him about his integrity.  Let him tell it, it was a positive sign of my character because most other women he’d “propositioned” offered their place or his.  We met, sat in a back corner, and talked.  He says I asked him question after question about why he wanted to cheat on his girlfriend, why he wanted to cheat with me, what gave him the idea that I would accept, and whether he cared even a little bit about her feelings if she ever found out.  Let me tell it, he was a hot mess of scum sitting in front of me.  Let him tell it, I was a woman who had much self-respect and even his current girlfriend would have been pleased if she’d been there to listen in.  Nothing ever came to be from that.  But, later, it almost did….

He’d cheated, again.  Devastated and emotional, we had another encounter.  This time at his apartment.  I came over knowing “it” may happen.  I didn’t care anymore.  What is faithful?  Loyalty?  Commitment?  Heartbreak?  I know what the latter is and was feeling it.  He opened the door.  I walked in.  I see 2 or 3 guys sitting in the living room one of which I recognized from TV.  Our star football player.  This must be the ultimate bachelor pad.  At least I was in the right place.  We go upstairs quickly because, after all, it was obvious I was not his girlfriend.  He sat on his bed.  I sat across at his desk.  We chit-chat.  I think we kissed eventually.  I’m not completely sure.  I excuse myself to go to the bathroom.  Door closed, I begin to talk to myself.

“You can do this.  It’s just sex.  Everyone does it without thought.  Relax.  It’ll take your mind off him.  You can get even.  Do your own dirt.  It probably won’t hurt as much anymore.  Just do it.  Isn’t that Nike? I love Nike but I’m sure their slogan is not related to sex.”

He says while I was in the bathroom, he realized what was about to happen.  He thought about how sweet of a girl I was.  How I never gave in to his previous advances even remaining friends with him without judgment.  He couldn’t do it.  As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t do it because he’d mess up any real chance he’d ever have with me.  If ever.  He respects me too much.  He thought about that day in the lobby of my dorm when he saw me standing there in all white looking cute as a button (his words….not mine).  He couldn’t go through with it.  I came out of the bathroom ready.  I’d psyched myself up for this and I was going to do it, nervously.  I walked towards him still sitting on the bed and he said:

“Hey, you gotta go.  I have this meeting I forgot about so…”


“I have a meeting to get to.  We meet with the coaches to go over our schedule for the upcoming week but I’d forgot about it.”

“You said it was ok to come over and now you’re telling me you have a meeting??”

“I know and I’m sorry.”

He stands up, walks towards the door, opens it, and waits for me to walk through while I’m thinking “what the hell is happening?!”  We walk downstairs and I walk through the front door back to my dorm in a fog of confusion.  That was the last time we chit chatted while in college.

His Spring Break, our date didn’t happen.  He’s waited all this time…he can wait some more.  My Spring Break, it did happen.  Amazingly enough, we talked like it hadn’t been years.  We laughed.  We ate.  We talked some more.  Let me tell it, it was two friends having a fantastic time after so many years and memories.  Let him tell it, it was his chance to get what he always wanted but couldn’t have 11 years ago.  During this time, he came clean about the “meeting”.  There was never a meeting, he explained.  If he had gone through with it, in my mind, he thought I would look at him like every other trifflin man and remember that years later never ever giving him a fair chance because he had tainted his own reputation.  Would I have entertained him now?  Would I think he was a good guy?  Or would I remember him cheating on his girlfriend at the time when my boyfriend had cheated on me?  My diverted look and silence was answer enough.  Fast forward to now, he says he loves me.  I laugh.  He fumes.  Why so sensitive?  Why so pessimistic?

“You love me? (lol)”

“Yes, let me explain.  I’ve loved you since I first laid eyes on you in that all white.  I thought you were so cute.  Even my girlfriend noticed it because I had to explain the awkwardness in the air when she walked up and saw us talking.  I’ve thought about you ever since then but you were with someone and so was I.  This is my chance.  I think it’s divine intervention.”

“Divine intervention?”

“Yes, look up the definition.”

“I think I know the definition, thank you.”

“I know what I want.  I see a great woman in you and I’m trying not to let you get away.”


“So, do you hate or love me?”

“I definitely don’t hate you.  I like you.  But, I don’t love you”.

“You will once you trust me”.

(Thinking) “Cocky ass”.  (Actually said out loud) “Ok”.

And that is where we are right now.  Let me tell it, he has been with me for about 6 months now.  Let him tell it, I have been with him for 11 years now and this time he won’t let me go.


May 7, 2011 - Posted by | Love, My Writings

1 Comment »

  1. I’ve never seen the Notebook (shocker, I know), but this is cute! I like the style of it. It does always seem like both parties remember things differently

    Comment by 2blu2btru | May 10, 2011

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