Day 26

Today I am grateful for the Wii so my kids were occupied and I could get my studying done.  This Wii has been the ultimate babysitter!  I know it’s not good to have kids in front of the TV for hours when they need to be outside or getting physical exercise but they both are in sports at the park every week.  When it comes to having to get things done and getting them out of my hair, I am grateful for the Wii and Netflix which has kept them content and  busy for as long as I need them to be.

Day 25

Today I am grateful for another chance!  I studied, read, and got my butt off the computer and did superbly on this week’s quiz.  The week before, I had gotten a 67% which is horrible considering we have 10 quizzes this semester and only 2 can be dropped.  That means I can only eff up one more ‘gain before my grade officially falls into “shitty” realm.  Well, this past week I got a 100% on my quiz!  That’s right…I aced it.  I logged into our class blackboard to check my grade.  While the page was loading I kept peeking up because as soon as it opened on that screen my grade will be right in front of me.  You guessed it, I literally screamed and threw up hands up into the arm like I’d just won some fabulous prize.  It’s only a perfect score on a quiz.  Not the pressure builds because, from here on out til the end of the semester, I have to redeem myself and kick ass on my 2 exams.  But, I am grateful for the chance to prove that I am capable of succeeding in this field; no matter how much I complain.

Day 24

Today I am grateful for learning how to let go of my anger.  He was at fault for leaving JQ outside alone.  I wanted him suspended, fired, fined, physically harmed…something.  But, I knew when the supervisor promised to call me back after their meeting about the issue that the best I could hope for was an apology.  Why?  Because it was his first offense.  How punishing should you be when it is someone’s first offense?  Yes, nothing catastrophic happened; but it could have.  He was found safe & alive; but what if he hadn’t?  I’m told to focus not on the fact that things could have turned out for the worst but that they did not.  They didn’t.  I can sue for something like this.  The entire agency would have to pay because they were clearly negligent.  I’d win big!  Then what?  Would it not be enough to have my son safe and sound or would it be enough to teach them a lesson?  This shit should never happen!  But, I don’t do anything.  I take the call, I hear the apology on the other end of the phone, I hear the promise of “never again”, and I hang up hoping that my understand of getting a clean slate or another chance is not going to come bite me in the ass.  I’m grateful, this time, for learning to control my anger and accepting the fact that things did and may very well have been planned to turn out good.

Day 23

Today I am grateful for several Angels watching over my son tonight.  It was just Day 4 when I was saying how grateful I am for the ICI.  Well, tonight I am grateful there’s a safety net when humans do what they do best; make mistakes.  Wednesday evenings I have class.  Every Wednesday afternoon the same person from the ICI calls to ask if my youngest is going to the ICI, whether he needs to be picked up, if so from where, and where is he to be dropped off.  I gave my usual answer: he will be home for pick up and dropped off at the baby sitter’s house.  They already have the address since this is not the first but the umpteenth time.  It’s routine!  Well, my oldest texts me when he gets to the baby sitter’s house from Basketball so I will know both kids are at her house safe and sound.  7:30pm rolls around and nothing.  I text my oldest who texts back that he is at the baby sitter’s house but my youngest is not.  I begin to worry.  I shrug it off because I’m thinking maybe they are running late with drop-offs; an hour late!  At 8pm, my upstairs neighbor texts me to say she has my youngest son.  Wth?!  Apparently, the ICI had a new driver who negligently dropped my son off at my apartment building instead of the baby sitter’s house because he hadn’t gotten the memo about where he was supposed to take him while I am downtown in class.  So, he drops off my 6 yr old at a building where no one is home and pulls off thinking that since the first of a double door was unlocked that meant my son was “in the building”.  No.  My son was left outside on a busy street in Chicago for about 1.5 hours unattended crying occasionally calling out my and my oldest son’s name because he thought we were upstairs but weren’t coming down to get him.

By a miracle, 2 young men walked by and rang my neighbors buzzer not knowing if anyone was home but hoping someone was.  Through the intercom, they told her some little kid was downstairs outside her building crying.  She came downstairs and instantly recognized my son.  The guys asked if she could at least take him inside so he’d be off the streets which she of course did.  I don’t know who those guys were but I prayed a special prayer of favor and bless on them for taking the time to even stop and care about some random kid they didn’t know.  Class wasn’t over yet but as soon as I read that text, I grabbed my coat, bag, books, and yanked both pass the pregnant student sitting next to me whom I hope I didn’t hit in the head/face/etc while I was rushing to exit the room.  I heard my professor say, “the class isn’t dismissed until 8:30pm!” but I wasn’t paying her any attention.  I got on the phone and cussed for about 30 minutes realizing what had happened.  Then, I called everyone from the ICI whose number I had until someone answered their phone.  When one guy did answer, I began to tell him the story but by then I was so grateful he was ok I was finally able to cry at the fact that one turn of events could have made this the worst night of my life.  He promised to find out what had happened and said, “I know words don’t mean anything right now but I am sorry this happened to you”.  You’re right….words don’t mean shit right now.  But, I’m grateful my son is alive, well, and unharmed.  I explained what happened esp since he immediately thought I had abandoned him and then I went on about my life even emailing my professor to explain why I so rudely rushed out of her class.  I swear, some days you just can’t make this shit up!

Day 22

Today I am grateful for the basics they taught you probably in Kindergarten because reading is fundamental.  This is probably really corny but I sat down and started reading for class but my mind would begin to drift, I’d start daydreaming, I’d get up to get something to eat, or wanna check my email real quick, etc.  I was constantly distracted and had only read maybe a paragraph or two.  Tired of wasting time reading but not reading, I decided to do what most people hate; I started reading out loud.  For some reason, this has always worked for me.  I remember what I’ve or am reading, I am less distracted, and the topic suddenly seems interesting.  I read out loud for the entire chapter while highlighting key points and before I knew it I had made some real progress so here’s to not following the accepted “read to yourself” idea.  Here’s to reading out loud for the sake of reading comprehension.

Day 21

Today I grateful that I know how to and actually do hold my tongue.  There are many times when you want to say something, put someone in their “place”, and even think it’s about time someone told them what needs to be said.   I had that moment and I wanted to but I’m glad I didn’t because I would have been as much an ignorant fool as the person I was mad at.  Being patient or self-controlling isn’t something I have mastered so when I do accomplish little small feats like this I am super-duper proud of myself.

Day 20

Today, I am grateful for completely losing my cool!  This usually happens in the worst way every 2-3 months.  I try to prepare for it but, without fail, even I am shocked by it.  I went off on everyone today, cussing, throwing a fit, and dang near wanted to throw my brand new laptop against a wall.  But, I did lose my cool and I did with someone relatively new right there. Scary!  My regular circle is used to me….can’t have new people wandering, staring, wanting to feed the animals, etc.  But, after every Mad Woman episode, I always feel better so I’m grateful for that one day every 2-3 months when I act a plum ass fool because it gets me right back to where I need to be.  In the range of normalcy with everyone else.

Day 19

Today, I am grateful for my Child Support check!  Oh man was I broke.  My youngest needed new shoes which I didn’t know about until he went to his indoor soccer class and was slip sliding all over the gym floor.  I sat down to order some new shoes online when I grabbed his current shoe to find out his size; zero treading on the bottom and a small hole forming in one of the soles.  It was ridiculous.  So, I order his shoes and now he doesn’t look homeless and uncared for.  I think my finances are finally back on track.  But, I am grateful for the child support check I do get which never seems to be apart of any bank error or human mistake on my part.

Day 18

Today, I am grateful for finding out I failed my Cost Accounting quiz.  Yep, I got a 67% which is the lowest I’ve gotten on all 4 quizzes thus far but I am allowed to drop the 2 lowest quizzes which means I only have 1 more chance to screw up.  Not good since we aren’t even at midterms yet  But, I told my sitter I’d need to drop the kids off earlier so I can make my professor’s office hours for help with any calculations I routinely get wrong and I have actually put forth more time to reading the chapters.  I hate this class; I say that once a semester about one of these accounting classes.  I cried cause I was already feeling overwhelmed and then I said I need to do what I need to do; clear all unnecessary stuff from my schedule and try harder.  But, I am grateful for failing my quiz only because there is usually some silver lining out of all bad circumstances….usually.  I’m waiting for mine as I study more and try to at least get a “B” out this stupid class.  Whatever…

Day 17

Today, I am grateful for the Ally Bank representative calling me.  She called to tell me they are required by IRS rules to close my Money Market Account (MMA) and I must decide whether I want to transfer the balance to an interest checking account or have them send me a check.  I’m grateful for that because I needed to close the stupid account anyways; I was incurring too many fees!  Note to self: never place your emergency fund money in an account with transaction limits.  Emergencies don’t care that you only have 5 transaction allowed for this account.  Emergencies don’t care about anything but driving you half insane; plus helping you incur bank fees.  So, after this past cycle of having my student loan payment deducted from my account unplanned and throwing off my finances for the next 2 weeks or so (I’m still recovering) that was officially the nail in the coffin.  Pretty soon I will have another checking account with Ally Bank bearing the same name, Shit Happens, and move on with my very eventful life.  At least in a regular checking account I will have full access to my money despite the number of times small or large shit happens so for that I am seriously grateful….financially speaking too.